I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
