I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
handjob tips. give me some.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize