Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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