just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize