Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
