k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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