Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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