I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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