I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My vagina is officially offended.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
