i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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