Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
