Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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