You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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