And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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