you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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