Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
