She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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