I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
