how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think i have herpe
just one?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
