I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
