is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
