i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Couch. On fire.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
