I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
