If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
birth control should be required to get into college
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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