My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize