i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
