Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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