Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
