Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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