New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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