ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you didnt know i had herpes?
Even my vagina gasped.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
