he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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