do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
