get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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