Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have aggressive nipples.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
