i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You need a sexual gate keeper
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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