Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
