the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
