Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
