Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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