Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize