btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
