she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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