She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
