PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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