He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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