Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
