I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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