I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
