I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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