guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
