Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
