yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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