I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
