No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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