I'm eating all of the evidence.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
third nipple confirmed
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize