just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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