i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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