gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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