In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
