so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
