you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
