Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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