Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
