is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
