to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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