I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
