It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
