yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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